Failing - big time - in a big way

I'm failing a friend. She's hurting and I know she is, but I don't know what to do about it. I've asked her what's wrong, and her answer is either, "nothing" or she tells me something minor that I know isn't big enough to be causing her to be as hurt/depressed/angry as she is. The problem is, I DO know one thing that's causing it, and she won't even give that as a reason. So I do what I'm used to doing. I pull away in self-protection and I go pray for her. Not that praying isn't a good thing! But the self-protection thing is wrong. 


I try to convince myself that I'm doing it to keep from hurting her more, but that's not the whole reason. I don't like to be hurt by her. So now that I realize that, what do I do different? I've tried talking to her! She doesn't want to talk. I've tried doing things with her, but it seems to have no effect - and she's not even been interested in doing things together now. I refuse to lose this friendship (we have close ties besides the friendship) but at this point, it looks like that's where it's trying to go. I watch her other friends and they seem to have the ability to push through to her. She's still hurting, but at least they get her to do things with them - and she enjoys them. I just wish I knew what I need to do to help. I don't think she needs me to pull away, but I don't seem to be able to help her with what she DOES need me to do.


And at this point I have 2 more friends who are also going through some huge struggles. I can't help them either. They have a strength I don't have, and they're sharing their burdens and I sit here and cry because all I can do for them is listen - which is the equivalent of picking up the lightest corner of their burden and pretending that's helping them. I know (and they know) that God is the one who will carry that burden for them, but I don't like the feeling of helplessness - especially when it comes to my very best friends.


Going to spend some extra time in prayer until I learn exactly what God wants me to do in these situations.